Out on parole

Finally England is starting to open up again. Non essential shops are open, beer gardens are open, hairdressers are open. Most importantly to me, the gym is open!!!! Excited I woke up like a kid at Christmas, I was so pleased and excited to finally be able to train again. Not only is it important …

A miserable day

It’s dull and raining…. Outside, and that’s kinda how I feel inside, gloomy. I have my usual feeling of anxiety, but today it feels more like an overwhelming dread. I feel a little down today. Last day It’s my last day of annual leave today, maybe that’s why I’m feeling the way I do. I’ve …

Just a few

Pictures from my birthday

One year on

So…. It was a year ago that my illness got the better of me. You all know what happened. I’m not proud. What I am proud of however, is how far I have come. So what have I done? Well, therapy got me so far, medication got me so far, friends and family got me …

Clairvoyant

That was me I had my crystal ball and I could predict, no better than predict, I could see the future. I could see someone and instantly take a dislike to them. I would judge a person by simply looking at them. I could foresee an event and see how it would pan out, how …

Innocence is wasted on the young

Childhood What did you worry about as a child? Most of us had everything that we needed, even everything we wanted. So what did we have to worry about? Food? Housing? Money? Work? Love? I’m guessing not. My worries as a child were being alone, not having any friends. I’ve taken this  worry with me …

pink jigsaw puzzle piece

What am I missing?

Right now….. …I’m missing Mrs catmann, my new found love. This blog isn’t about her though (well, not entirely). I can summarise what I am missing in three little words…..I’m missing life. You know, normal life. Remember that? It’s not just me that is fed up. The roads are busier, more people are out and …

crop couple holding hands on street

FINALLY

The waves of anxiety have been replaced with waves of love. The insecurities have been washed away. As happy as I was alone, I now feel complete. I have managed to find “the one”, I have found my missing piece. Ladies and gentlemen, blog readers around the world. I can officially announce there is now …

sandy shore with rocky formation

Annual leave in lockdown

It’s been amazing ……so far Everyday I have done something new and exciting to expand my mind and open myself up to new pleasures and experiences. Monday I spent 4 hours in my kitchen trying to work out if the fridge light stayed on when I closed the door. I tried various techniques, slowly closing, …

Where’s the rip cord?

Free falling So, I’ve jumped out of the aeroplane and gone meds free. I now feel like I am free falling and can’t find the rip cord to slow my decent back down to earth, back down to feeling everything again. Was I ready? I don’t know, I really don’t know. All I do know …

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