That was me

I had my crystal ball and I could predict, no better than predict, I could see the future. I could see someone and instantly take a dislike to them. I would judge a person by simply looking at them. I could foresee an event and see how it would pan out, how awful it would be. I could see myself in any situation and just know how I would feel, how people would react to me, how they would dislike me. I was in a dark lonely place, only ever seeing bad.

So, what happened?

Well, I decided I didn’t want to be a clairvoyant anymore, I decided enough was enough, I decided to change. The problem wasn’t with other people or situations, it was my own insecurities, my own self doubt. I never felt like I was good enough. I had very low self esteem and even lower self confidence. All the things I disliked in others were in fact things I disliked in myself.


It was through hypnotherapy that I learned to change my perspective, I learned I am enough, I became proud to be me. The rapid transformational therapy sessions I had took me back to my childhood to where the problems began. It was during the sessions that I saw myself as a child, a child scared of being alone, of not being loved, not being enough. I went back while hypnotised and spoke to myself as a child, I spoke to my ever present inner child. I reassured myself that I really am enough.

What now?

Well, like everything, to make change last you have to constantly work at it. I’ve changed my inner dialogue. I remind myself daily that I am enough, I am loved, I am. I realise that I like myself a whole lot more, I actually love myself. 99% of the time I am in a good headspace l, and if I’m not, I know what I have to do to get myself there.

Rock bottom

It was during a video call with my extended family earlier today that I was reminded how far I have come in the last year. Just a year ago, I didn’t want to be alive, I was at rock bottom and could see no way up. I’ve turned my life around, completely. I’m in a happy place mentally, I feel free of the junk in my head that was holding me back. I’m alive right now, and I feel good!!

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.
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