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What a different a lockdown makes

For me

The first lockdown was the biggest journey that I have ever been on in my entire life. I overdosed, I had therapy, I got myself better, I made myself bullet proof. I helped friends out and made new friends. I ate out to help out. I found myself. I became me.

Weather

The weather had a massive impact on the first lockdown, it was pretty much one long heatwave. The queueing up outside everywhere was pleasurable to me as I don’t have a garden. I was able to meet up with friends outdoors. I really needed that at the time. I was able to spend hours walking and cycling (both have a massive positive impact on mental health). I rode my motorbike all over the place. I learned to get my knee down !!!

Therapy

As regular readers will know I spent a fortune on getting myself well. Hypnotherapy, talking therapy and medication. Although I am now virtually living hand to mouth, I have never been happier or healthier mentally. If you struggle, please invest in yourself. You are the one person that is with you until you take your last breath. You deserve to be happy.

Changes

I came out of the first lockdown a different person, a happy and free person. Obviously I will still have bad days/times it natural, but now I know how to deal with it. I know how to be happy, something that took me years to learn.

The second lockdown

I have predominantly stayed at home. The weather is dull, cold and depressing. I don’t want to go out and queue up for anything. I’ve seen my best friend once, we walked her dog together. So have I slipped down into the darkest depths of depression? Nope, I am 100% content and happy just being alone in my flat. When I say happy, I mean really content. I truly know who I am now and don’t need anyone else in my life. I do however want other people in my life. You know who you are. Oh and I’m still looking for that someone special………

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.
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