A familiar situation

Round two

So, we are facing another nationwide lockdown as from Thursday. You all know that I was in a very, very dark place during the last one. Thankfully things have dramatically changed for me. Being shut away from the world is something I am looking forward to in many ways. I have restarted my diploma and it will give me distraction free time to focus on that. It wasn’t the news that any of us wanted to hear, but if it helps to slow the virus then it is essential.

Unfortunately

On the negative side I had just found and joined a gym that I felt at home in, somewhere that I belonged. I had started to socialise and date, that will all come to an abrupt end . I will no longer be able to go out and meet up with friends on my motorbike. I will however not be able to spend money that I don’t have. After paying out for my various therapies and to repair/service my bike, I am down to absolute zero. I am dreading Christmas being broke and I will struggle to pay my rent. All of my savings have gone. It was essential spending to get myself and my therapy machine better. Hopefully my wages will soon be back to normal.

Confused

I am slightly confused by two parts of the lockdown this time. Firstly shielding. Vulnerable people do not have to shield. To me this sends a mixed message. Full lockdown from a deadly pandemic, only don’t worry to much if you have an underlying condition?? Secondly, schools etc. Surely more children and parents will socialise and mix at school than they would in a restaurant? Maybe having thousands of people in education is safer than a socially distanced eatery. Only time will tell I guess.

Honest truth

Although the lockdown will hopefully save peoples lives, it will ruin others. People will lose their jobs, businesses will fold, relationships will break down. Depression will loom and mental health will suffer, massively. Suicide rates will rise. If you are feeling vulnerable with your mental health, please ask for help. I know only to well what being isolated did to me last time around. I’m just so grateful that I no longer fall into that category. Yes, I will always suffer with mental health issues, but I now know how to deal with them, how to keep myself well.

Today

I am going on what will be my last date for at least a month. I am fortunate enough to be spending my evening with a lovely young American lady. On paper we have lots in common. Both love fitness, music, reading, trying new experiences. Let’s just all sit back and watch me fuck this right up !!

Fight

Let’s all fight this together. Stay safe people.

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.
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