My mind is craving trauma

Sounds funny right?

I’m so used to waking up overwhelmed with anxiety and fear, that my mind is telling me something is missing. Its a wierd feeling.

Just a few weeks ago, well maybe even just a few days ago my life was ruled by my mind constantly being in overdrive. I’m not saying I am “cured”, but I am enjoying being “me” again. My brain is desperately trying to tell me something is missing. It is adjusting to being clearer, anxiety free (for the most part).

Time out

Although four months was far to long to be off work, it was the time I needed to find myself, to reset. I’ve discovered what works for me, what I need to do. I’m never going back to the depths of darkness, the place I was in just a short while ago.

So much more

I have so much more to give in my life, I want to help others and I want so much more for myself. I’m not talking material things, although a garage full of motorbikes would be nice. I’m talking love, happiness and security. You can only love another person when you truly love yourself. I’m learning to. I’m learning that I’m the most important person in my life, something I wish I had realised years ago. How different could my life have been?

No regrets

I’ve always said I have no regrets about any part of my life, and I stick by that. Both the good and bad things that I have done have led me to the very point I am at right now. It’s exactly where I am supposed to be. Its who I am. I am proud to be me and I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. Dare I say it? I’m starting to feel happy.

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.
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