Guess who’s back?

Finally back to work

After just over four months off, I returned to work yesterday. I knocked myself out with diazepam on Sunday night so I would sleep through. It worked. The sound of my alarm going off at 05:20am yesterday morning was a shock to my system. Thankfully I had prepared everything the night before, so I could have half an hour to sort my head before commuting in.


Thankfully the weather was fine and dry although a little chilly. Close to perfect conditions to ride my motorbike to work. The ride itself was relaxing for me and helped to keep me calm. Once I had signed in and changed into my uniform, it was time for handover.


I was fortunate enough to be working as part of a fantastic team yesterday. They were all patient with me as I slowly started to get back into the swing of things. It will take me a while to get back to where I was. I had various bouts of anxiety especially during the morning, at times overwhelming, but I got through drug free. I met my new boss. She is very supportive.

Home time

At the end of my 13 hour shift I was grateful to be going home. I enjoyed the ride back. I was physically and mentally exhausted. It will take me a while to get back into a full routine. I am grateful to be having a phased return to break me in gently. Although my day may not seem much to most of you, I went to bed feeling very pleased with myself.

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.


  1. Glad to hear that your first day of work went well and you felt happy about it 🙂 xx

    1. I was anxious, but pleased I stayed. Thank you x

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