Today is sponsored by diazepam. Its been a horrible day for me. I’ve been out on my motorbike to see my friend Becci who made this lovely jar for me.

Bottles and jars are made to order through her Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Rebecoupage-104213024680566/

I stayed for an hour with her and her husband, but felt very jittery (hopefully I didn’t appear rude). I had taken a diazepam just before going there.

I then called to see my adopted parents for a coffee on my way home. Lynn (adopted mother) gave me some lasagne to take home for my dinner. It was lovely thank you. While I was there, I was on edge and couldn’t settle.

As soon as I got home I was riddled with anxiety. I took another diazepam and was going to take a nap. However I ended up playing call of duty online with Bec. She helped to lift my mood.

Its now 6pm and I’m laying on my bed, exhausted. I will probably fall asleep and then not be able to sleep tonight. I don’t feel like I am alive at the moment, just existing. I’m waiting to be contacted by occupational health before I can return to work.

Today’s positives……..seeing Becci and her husband, seeing Pete and Lynn, talking to Bec and having some lovely messages on here and on social media.

Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow will be better.

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.
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