Its back…..

With avengence. After two days of staying in, I ventured out of my flat to meet with my good friend Mason. We were meeting at nutshells for a coffee. I booked us a table. Just before I left my flat, I had an anxiety attack. Heart racing, hands shaking, head spinning like a washing machine, but why? I took a diazepam and thought that would help, it would pass. It didn’t.

We sat and chatted for about an hour and a half before going our separate ways. I got in my car and started to drive. I soon had to pull over and I was sick. Still full of anxiety, I made it home.

My lovely neighbour and now good friend Pat was outside. Talking to her normally helps to calm me down, today it didn’t work, I just wanted to get inside my flat.

I’ve been off of work for three months. I called my boss for my weekly check in and started to cry while on the phone (what a man). I couldn’t possibly have asked for a more supportive lovely caring boss. Unfortunately she is leaving the company next week. I will miss her dearly. There is a plan in place for my return.

Now sitting alone in my flat I feel washed out, exhausted. Whatever I am currently doing isnt quite enough. I will figure this out. I will get better. I have to.

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.
%d bloggers like this: