I remember when I was a teenager showing my mum that I had learned how to juggle. I was very confident. She was in the kitchen at the time. I walked in, “mum, I have taught myself to juggle, watch this”. I proudly walked over to the ceramic chicken she had on her worktop that contained the eggs. Yes I was that confident, I was going to use eggs. I picked up three lovely fresh free range eggs and started my performance. I have absolutely no idea how, but I successfully managed to actually juggle them. I don’t know who was more shocked, mother or myself. Well I say mother was shocked, I think she was more relieved when I finally put the eggs down. The fun didn’t stop there though, oh no. I took a bow as my mum shouted, “Martin!!” (she often did). I turned to look at what she was shouting at, and we both stood there and watched all three eggs roll onto the floor. Oops. It made a, shall we say, slight mess. Sorry mum.
The the next incident again involved my mum, and also my dad this time. It was a Friday night I believe. I had been to the pub with some friends. When I got back to my parents house, I realised that I hadn’t got my keys. Bugger. I rang the doorbell several times, but they didn’t hear. I went to the front of the house and began to (gently) throw some very small stones at my parents window to try to wake them up to let me in. No good, now what? I had a plan. I walked around to the back of the house where my bedroom was and saw the window was slightly open. I fetched the wheelie bin and a piece of wood. I positioned the wheelie bin next to a drain pipe at the back of the house and placed the piece of wood on top of it. I climbed up onto the wheelie bin, and using the drain pipe for support, I managed to get on top of the piece of wood. From here I could reach the bottom of the window. I open it and somehow managed to pull myself up and into my bedroom. It was a good job my brother was out at the time because his bed was next to the window and I landed on it. I was so chuffed with my achievements, that I went and woke my parents up to tell them. They were not quite as chuffed.
One last little incident. This one actually wasn’t my fault. My brother and I shared a room when we were growing up. At this point we had bunk beds. I can’t remember how old I was, but I was definitely at primary school. I was not normally allowed to sleep in the top bunk because I was the youngest, however one night I finally got my chance. My brother had a friend coming to stay over and they were going to sleep in a tent in the back garden. The bed was mine. I was so pleased, I even went to bed early. However my night in the bed was short lived. I didn’t know that my brother and his friend had came in early from their camping expedition. His friend had claimed the bottom bunk and my brother slept on the floor. Disaster struck. I rolled over in my sleep and went straight over the side supports of the bunk. Please bare in mind that this was in the 70’s and manufacturing standards were not the same as they are today. I landed on my unsuspecting brother beneath me. As I landed we banged heads. I managed to put my tooth threw my lip. Blood everywhere. We both screamed.