I woke up around 4am. Still not sleeping properly, but slowly getting better. I did my self hypnosis and fell back to sleep. I got up properly around 8am. I made some breakfast and threw half of it in the bin. I did plan to train and do some yoga, however my motivation stayed in bed.
Im starting to have more good days than bad, but today isn’t one of them. Constant overthinking and a burning feeling in my head. To describe it like weather it would be “foggy”.
I slept on the sofa for a couple of hours. I have zero energy today. I did go shopping just to get something for my tea, but I’m not really hungry right now.
Its a beautiful day, sunny and warm. I should go out for a walk, but deep down I know I won’t leave my flat again today. There is always tomorrow I guess.
I have old moto gp races on my television, but I’m not really watching it. I can’t focus on anything. I just want to sleep and wake up anxiety free.
When I was in hospital recently, I made a promise to myself. I promised I was going to make myself bulletproof physically and mentally. I still stand by this and realise this is just one bad day in my life.
Although I’m not hungry today, I am starting to getting my appetite back. I need to, I had lost a stone.
I see this stage of my life as a brief moment. I didn’t realise how low i had actually let myself get. I will learn from this and never let it happen again. I will come back from this. It won’t beat me. Nothing will.