I didn’t want to write this. Not that I didn’t want to blog, just I was hoping for better content.
I was hoping yesterday was a blip, a pause in my recovery. However I woke up this morning feeling the same if not slightly worse. The overwhelming fear of something terrible is going to happen is horrible. Again there is no reason that I can see for me to feel this way.
Like I said in my earlier blogs I want to help people. Its no good me just writing about the good days. I’m hoping people can relate to what I am going through.
So, I woke up around 4am, i didn’t want to get up so I played some games on my ipad. I went back to sleep and got up around 8am. Like yesterday I had no enthusiasm and no energy. Constant over thinking and a very foggy mind. I’ve been on sertraline for a month now, hopefully the combination of the meds and the hypnotherapy will start to make me feel better soon.
One small thing that helped to clear my head for a short while was going shopping for a friend. I got in the car and turned my music up loud. Todays choice was Eric Clapton, you can’t beat Laya.
I’m now back home and all I want to do is sleep. However if I sleep now, i won’t sleep as well tonight. I don’t feel alive right now, just existing. I know I will get through this. Hopefully my next blog will be brighter.