So far away

So here we are nearly 2 months into lockdown. It’s nothing like I thought it would be. The world is changing, people are changing. Hopefully forever.

Food shopping is now quite civilised. In my experience, after the initial madness of bulk buying, people are becoming friendlier and more understanding towards each other. People don’t need to take their whole family into a supermarket, one person is enough. Queuing outside and following a route around the shop is far more relaxing and stress free. Waiting to be assigned a checkout stops people from barging in. Shopping for family and friends that cannot go out is rewarding.

Apart from spending a small fortune on my therapy, I’m saving money by not going out for dinner, or socialising. I thought I would miss going out for a coffee, going for a meal or going to the cinema. I thought I would miss walking around shops, I don’t at all. I have leaned to be happy by myself spending time reading and expanding my mind. I’ve never truly loved myself or thought I was enough, I’m learning how to now.

Im absolutely useless with computers, it’s just not my thing. When I decided to start blogging I didn’t have a clue how to set up my site at all. My best friend Beck’s mum (Lynn, also a very good friend) designed the site logo for me (thanks again Lynn). I got in contact with an old school friend (David) a man I haven’t seen in probably 25 years. If I had another lifetime I still wouldn’t understand how this man can do what he does with computers. When he heard I was struggling (with life and setting up my page), he offered to help straight away. We caught up on zoom and have arranged to meet up in person when we are allowed to. He probably live to regret his offer with all of my constant emails and questions. I cannot thank you enough. My eldest daughter is also a whizz with computers is always on the other end of the phone too.

So what am I missing during all of this? Well that’s the easiest question to answer and the hardest part to deal with. I’m missing physically seeing people. I miss my children. When I next get to hug them, I probably won’t let go. I miss being able to visit my mum in the care home she lives in. I miss seeing my friends and spending time with them. It has made me realise what is truly important and that is love. I will come out of this a much better person. Now I’m learning to love myself, I will be able to love other people and be loved by them. I’m understanding that I am just as important as everyone else one the planet. I also now know that I am no better or worse than anyone else.

We are very lucky to be living in an age of such amazing technology. It’s great having mobile phones so we can speak to each other wherever we are. It’s great being able to video call, play quizzes and games online with family and friends. Not being able to physically see people is actually bringing me closer to many.

Technology is amazing, it brings us so much closer to people but, leaves us so far away………

When the lockdown is over and “normal” life can resume, let’s all remember what mattered to us the most. Not the shops, bars, cinema but the people. Although life is the longest thing we ever do, we are only here for a short time. Remove negativity, live freely, be happy and grateful for everything that you have.

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.

1 Comment

  1. Logo design was my pleasure, seeing you improve is better x

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