Two steps forward……

…… step back, is still one step forward.

I have made progress, real good progress. Going back to work was tough for me, but I did it anyway. Then, yesterday I called my boss to see if I could have a weeks annual leave with immediate effect. After a long chat, I admitted that I was struggling and she told me to go off sick again. I am very lucky and truly thankful to work for such understanding and caring people.

In truth, I’ve not been sleeping or eating properly. Although I’ve stopped losing now, I have lost a stone in weight. Work isn’t the problem, I’m just not physically or mentally fit enough yet. In the past I would have seen the need to have more time off as a failure, a step back (which it is) however, now I see it as me listening to my body and mind and giving myself the time I really need. I need to be able to look after myself before I can look after anyone else.

I need to make sure in this time off I sort my diet out and get my sleep back into some sort of routine. I’m going to practice the art of meditation and continue to use my self hypnosis audio. The audio is making a massive difference ready, it just takes time for new neuro pathways to be formed (about 21 days). I get need to gain more mental clarity, to clear the fog from inside my head. I’m going to read more and expand my thinking.

Another area I need to improve on massively is my physical health. Healthy body healthy mind and all that. A couple of years ago, I was training in the gym five days each week. I gained loads of muscle mass and improved my cardiovascular fitness. Because of the lockdown and not being able to go to the gym, its not quite as easy to find the motivation to train alone at home. Some very good friends of mine bought me some resistance bands. I can use these and maybe also start to run. I’m very lucky where I live. Being on the outskirts of town, I can run and hardly see any one (social distancing).

I’m loving how I am starting to view things differently. I will be this and be back stronger than ever!!

About catmann1973

Hi, I’m Martin. 47 years old, living in Suffolk. I have three amazing grown up children. I have the best family and friends in the world. I am a football fan, love going to the gym and I am a motorcycle pilot. I’ve had mental health problems all of my life. This site is about my past, present and future. I’m hoping to make it easier for people to be able to speak freely about mental health. It can affect anyone at anytime.
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